The authority and example of their parents

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Authoritative for the child is an adult who is able to understand his mood, feelings, failure, leprosy. This man will not abuse their authority, will not give cold and sharp orders punishment until, until you understand the essence of this or that act. Such authority of the parents of A. S. Makarenko was called the authority of knowledge.
"And first of all you must know, " he wrote, " what lives, interested in that love, not what loves what she wants and what not want your child. You must know who he is friends, playing who and what is playing that reads like one comprehends...
You don't have to suddenly learn about various troubles and conflicts, you have to anticipate and prevent" *.
Knowledge of the sincere world of the children, their individual features helps parents to observe tact and discretion in the assessment of the actions of children in the evaluation of the personality of their friends and relations that arise between children.
Imagine several similar situations in which parents manifest themselves in different ways.
The parents of the tenth Serezha noticed that their son became less attention is paid to the preparation of lessons because of frequent walks with a classmate Natasha, resulting in decreased performance. Sincerely worried for the success of the son, mother and father politely advised him to invite Natasha in their family in order to do homework. During the conversation there was no anxiety, no reproaches, no disturbance. Serezha followed their advice, and soon with the help of Natasha his performance has improved significantly.
In a similar case, the mother and father sixteen-year-old Misha did otherwise. Having learned about friendship son with a girl, they condemned his behaviour and demanded to stop it. But neither prayers, nor threats helped. "Absolutely out of control,- complained parents at school.- You though we talk to this girl," - they asked for a teacher. When gently and softly teacher expressed Misha grief of his parents, he blushed and said sharply: "And do not think to listen to them. Much they know! Do all life can't sort out their relations. Constantly accusing each other of treason. Contrary to everything and anything that's good not want to believe".
Unfortunately, the authority have not all the parents, and it is very difficult approach to children and choosing the right means of influence on them.
"Children need to know,- tells A. S. Makarenko, " but this does not mean that you can pursue your son constant and annoying questions, cheap and Intrusive espionage. From the very beginning you have to put the case that children themselves told you about his business, so they would want to tell you that they are interested in your knowledge" **.
The authority of knowledge connected with the authority care, the manifestations of which can be in different forms: direct advice, joke, instruction, and in some cases and order. Especially necessary to parents authority assistance in the sexual education of their children.
The period, when the children come in very serious stage of development - puberty is associated with weight problems. Usually calm, relaxed, good-natured children become unrecognizable hot - tempered, incontinent, sharp. They have new, previously unknown interests and among them the prevailing interest to the representatives of the opposite sex. Any, even very small, in your opinion, comment, humorous allusion to the friendly relations hurt extremely vulnerable psyche. Here it is especially necessary to use the authority assistance. Imagine that your son or daughter for the first time in my life I experienced a good sense of light to another person, their peer. It captures all the thoughts, worries and constant distraction, enters into doubt, causes fluctuations. Besides this feeling is only one mystery, the other about it might not know. How many feelings, hopes, disappointments, is fraught with that first feeling! As required here the help of an adult, experienced, able to understand, evaluate everything. But... tell me frankly, dear parents, anyone could boast that your older kids completely trust you their secrets, their joys and sorrows?

* A. S. Makarenko. Lectures on the education of children. Uchpedgiz, M, 1953, page 26. 39
** A. S. Makarenko. Lectures on the education of children. Uchpedgiz, M 1953, page 26. 40