"Difficult" children

Sometimes under the influence of family conflict conditions in children appear painful features in the character, and they are "difficult" to others.
About twelve Vite teacher writes to me as follows: "Victor is very deceitful, compliant with the older and rough with younger boy. The lessons depressed and passive. The father works as the chief Metallurgist, mother - cashier. Living in the same apartment, each one lives to himself. Two children parents have divided. The father loves his daughter, helping her financially, and of the son... "He even beat him," said my mother. She tells about the fact that the room they had "terrible beds without bedding, and TV is the property of the husband, and he will not allow anyone to watch programs, requiring the mother of money for using them. Conversing with me, Vitya all the time complains of pain in the heart, labored breathing, difficulty swallowing write, although no deviations from the internal organs had not. Tells me he that is often tormented by his dog, and then he himself is suffering from pangs of conscience... And. here while on long-term traumatic situation was evident overstrain of the nervous processes. And will grow Victor timid, unsure of their abilities, tend to hurt younger and weak, not showing anything of interest, focusing on their health and producing the impression of a mentally retarded child.
Zhenya's father was the head of the major Department, mother - engineer. The family's financial situation is good, but the boy's upbringing ugly. "I'm dying from it, I am ashamed of my son", said the mother, complaining Zhenya, and was immediately described the situation in which formed the character of the boy. "Father ham, the sadist, forgets that son is only 6 years and deliberately shows him all the programs for adults, and shouted: "Eugene, you're crazy." Father abusing alcohol, never hesitate in expressions and drunk and sober messes with his fists." The boy sometimes dobivaet of paternal bottle remains whole trembles when he sees the bottle. And when visitors come, he was shouting, fighting and requires wines. I called to the office of Eugene. He, lounging, sitting on a chair and starts to laugh. On my question: "What are you laughing at?" - he answers: "There, in the corridor, a boy said that he is his father hit on the head," and on the face Zhenya there is a cheerful smile. But the more I talk to Eugene, the harder it is on my heart, because I understand that the boy may be completely different. He tells me that of all the "adult" pictures he liked the most "Sisters" and "Chapaev". "There's so beautiful Volga",thoughtful, he says. "It so happens that I don't want to cry, but the tears"says Eugene, describing his impressions about the film "Chapayev". Saying goodbye, he's leaving the office when you have already seen all the pictures and cubes, smiling as should smile a child of six; and I speak a long time with his mother, insisting that it changed the education of his son. A little more time, and Zhenya will stop noticing the beauty of the Volga, to stop crying on the film "Chapayev" and no medicines cannot be saved from present and degrades the influence of such "family.
"Difficult" features in the behavior of children appear when parents try to turn them into the miracle of children, child prodigies.
"My Slavik impossible in nature. He's not a minute, not sit on a place, rude adult, no can do," said I really cute young mother who does not work anywhere, raise only son. Father is a prominent specialist. Slavik't like fairy tales. "My dad bought me a book about nuclear energy, shells, magnetic powder and hydrogen bomb, " explains me five year old.- And I already know everything," he adds. With delight he says about the film "Dubrovsky", calls Pushkin, and, turning to his mother, suddenly asked: "Mom, Troekurov was one of us?" Priding abilities son, the mother asks him to name the main cities of England, France and so on, and he correctly called them. In the office Slavik all the time moves, gestures, touching everything that comes his arm. And when I ask him: "What is your hobby?" - he answers: "most of all I love to sleep, but TV shines and does not rest, I love when I sleep". To what degree, hence, depleted nervous system of the baby, if he's in five years, says that the dream for him hobby.
Raising children, never overload their excessive impressions! And, most importantly, take care of yourself. A. S. Makarenko in his lectures for parents wrote: "Your behavior is the most crucial thing. Do not think that you are bringing up children only when you talk to him, or telling it, or order it. You raise it in every moment of your life, even when you are not home. How you dress, how you speak to other people and other people, as you are happy or sad, how you deal with your friends and enemies as you laugh as reading the newspaper,- all this has for the child's important."
And if in the old Russia, wrote in his book "Protection of mental health of children" V. P. Kashchenko back in 1919, "the child, especially in the proletarian families did not know the joy did not know the sun, forests, game, got hungry and holodil in damp basements, slept under the drunken shouts fathers and angry, exhausted by hunger and poverty mothers", in our country to the life of the child are treated as of little value and it depends on us, that he was healthy. Even a sick child, if it will be surrounded normal conditions, will change its behavior.
Terry was sent to the colony, as he stopped attending school, ran away from home, wandering, and then began to steal. Living at home, he remained alone, because the father asked his son, and his mother beat him, believing that this curious and always bored boy "cross in her life". She was very superstitious, wondered the wise woman, and a boy when I called her a witch. The school also stated his "difficult" traits, and the boy was bored in school. After learning the mother's address, I wrote him a letter. "Hello, Boris! I met your mom, and she told me a lot about you, the most important thing that you behave well and praise you. I was especially pleased to know that you love the teacher of Russian language and read a lot. Read more,is one of the most good practice. From books you will know that not all people life immediately evolved smoothly. Many people have passed a difficult way, but not turned off the road, although lived in the difficult years of the tsarist tyranny". I wrote him that depends on it to make life the way he wants to. "I remember the picture of the "village teacher", wrote me, is there a talented boy Prov was not accepted in school only for the fact that children in old Russia was divided into rich and poor, and you not only learn, but also keep from dangerous roads". I have received many emails from this young man. From them I learned that he began to work at the plant, received a discharge, fell in love with books, chess, and, reading those letters, I was happy that I was not mistaken in Bor.