Can they be friends!

What is friendship adolescents? What is its nature?
Friendship adolescents, in contrast to the friendly relations younger students, is selective. In the class at your son's many friends, but few friends.
Often adolescents are asking adults question: "How to choose another?" They make guesses, argue, argue. Here are some of their statements: "Friendship to start very simply: it is possible on any trip to approach any girl who, of course, like, and to offer her friendship" (Oleg I.).
"If you want to be friends, we must write a note to offer friendship" (Nadia Century).
"...Uncomfortable talking about friendship, especially in school. Boys will laugh. It is better to call and say".
What only guesswork is not done! We need to help children to understand that sincere and good feelings occur naturally, without any "pridumivali". They need to explain - recipe here can not be. Often friendships as would arise by themselves and, if the parents correctly and safely treat them are very interesting for both sides.
So, friendship starts differently. Your children may ask you and what kind of person is best to call a friend.
Not surprised, they really are not yet sufficiently clear idea of the basics of friendship. About this, unfortunately, almost do not speak neither parents nor teachers of primary school. Yes, and in high school (be honest!) the conversation secret, need, trust or occurs once in sixth grade, or not practiced at all.
Therefore, probably, and made possible such responses teenagers in the questionnaires:
Question: Why did you choose(a) another Century?
Answers: 1) Because, beautiful (Victor S., seventh grade).
2) Because Sergey good at dancing (Paradise Century, seventh grade).
3) "I did not choose another N. He just came up and asked. And I agreed. Our friendship is not interesting, simply walk down the street. Wanted one liked, Yes we have nobody to choose from" (Sonya So, seventh grade).
There were such responses:
4) "I'm friends with Glory N. I don't like. But he lives well, he has his own receiver, a DVD player and even a motorcycle. Sometimes it is driving me on it. However, the Glory of the rough and cheeky lad, but it's fun. Of course, I have no" (Tanya L., seventh grade).
You see, she did not hesitate, confessing his obvious self-interest in friendship. It is ready even to sacrifice their dignity and to tolerate rudeness and swagger other, if only at least to some extent, to enjoy its benefits. Clearly, she regrets that she does not have these benefits, and envying the Glory, forgives him much.
As you can see, the answers of seventh graders indicate a mild, superficial attitude to friendship. Who knows, will be strengthened if this attitude in the minds of the children and will they in the future as easily as in the case, and selfish, to create a family?
In younger adolescents had such answers to the same question: "are Friends with, because live close".
"We are friends with To. because it helps me in algebra". "We are friends because both love to embroider, and now, having made the lessons sit together and love your work" (friend Alla and Zina).
These answers of fifth graders also show that the motives of friendship guys - very different, but, importantly, not very serious. As you can see, the right of those who instead of answering wrote us a counter-question: "Would ask why we are friends. And we don't know why. Just like that, I guess. Nothing better to do: one is boring. But in General none of us is not explained" (S. Seema, sixth grade).
Yes, it is a pity that "not explained". But time is the indifference of adults to such important issues of education, it is necessary, before it is too late, to explain to children the essence of true friendship. And the way they will realize that friendship is not just, it is very, very seriously!
One of the girls who said, "Think, what is friendship? Well, friends... didn't want to be friends, quietly dispersed. Even with joy. And I the next day I find a new friend. Now saying something has changed, now they say "new old friend is better than two!".
See just wants to be friends, want not, find another. Dangerous beginning of the formation of man's relationship with people! And he has to live in a family and we have to live happily and for a long time, not hundreds, and with one, only one man! But whether he is ready to be such a life?
The value of true friendship is enormous: it elevates a person, it supports and inspires, does not allow him to be bored, to be alone and unhappy and resentful.
No wonder people say: "undivided mountain - dual mount, and divided joy is a double joy." About the value of true friendship composed songs, poems, Proverbs.
"Friendship is the truth", says a popular wisdom. "Who is a friend straight, the brother native", "Myself die, but a friend save me".
See, how many noble requirements friends were made in these short words!